There’s this feeling that never goes away, an eonian feeling that surrounds me. A feeling caused by you. It’s like I’m suffocating everyday, there’s plenty of air but I’m gasping for more. I’m clawing at my throat, screaming for fresh air, but every breath I take is consumed by you. I keep breathing you in, absorbing every aspect of you. The way your eyes glisten when you’re excited, your warm welcoming hands, The strength of your heartbeat and how it speaks to me with each and every beat, the fact that you hurt and I can’t fix you. I asphyxiate on my love for you. It doesn’t go away. There are days when it’s just a dull ache, and I wish it was an evanescent pain, but it hits me twice as hard when I think I’m okay. I loved you from the very first day, but you’ve never felt the same. So I’m laying on the ground, dirty and done. Looking into the sky, feeling the rain pound into my raw flesh, I admit defeat and fade away.
I don’t know if this helps at all, but I feel the exact same way. You have put words into my mouth, and I understand. We can make it through together.